2. Drink a cup of coffee.
1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
4. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Clean up.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left boob.
32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
37. Lower car from jack stands
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
40. Drive car 1/2 quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for another oil change.