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A woman went to the doctor asking for bigger breasts.

The doctor gave her the choice of either having an implant or wearing a special bra.

The doctor explained, "When you flap your arms up and down, the bra inflates."

Of course, the woman chose the bra.

The next day she went to a bar to try the new bra out. She saw an attractive man sitting at the bar. Flapping her arms, she strolled over to flirt with the man.

He started flapping his legs and said "I see we have the same doctor."


A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.

Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.

The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close.

"They use the dog," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."


A blonde woman desperately looking for work goes into a toy manufacturing plant. The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he   regrets he has nothing worthy of her abilities.

The woman answers that she  really  needs work and will take almost anything.

The Personnel Manager hems and haws  and finally says he does have a low-skill job on the "Tickle Me Elmo" line and explains her duties and that she should be in to start work at 8:00 a.m,.  the next day.

 The next morning at 8:45a.m. there's a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The "Tickle Me Elmo" line manager comes in and starts ranting about the woman just hired. After screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is the Personnel Manager suggests he show him the problem.

 Together they head down to the line and sure enough, Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come.

Right at the end of the line is the woman just hired, she has pulled over a roll of the material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of marbles.

They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric and takes two marbles and starts sewing them between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager starts to laugh hysterically and finally he pulls himself together and walks over to the new employee and says: "I'm sorry, I   guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do is give Elmo  two TEST TICKLES."


A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."

Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart" _______________________________________________